NEW JOKES AT YOUR HOME

• What My Girlfriend Thought, First four Dates:

1. Nice shirt.

2. Wow. A second nice shirt.

3. OK, first shirt again.

4. He has two shirts.

• While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive single man. It was a relief, since my mother and I always laughed 
because the men to whom I was drawn were inevitably married. So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a 
living. He replied, “I’m a priest.”

Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time. —Norman Ford

• • Never trust a man when he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.
  • Never board 
a commercial 
aircraft if the 
pilot is wearing 
a tank top.
  • Never be in a 
hurry to terminate a marriage. You 
may need this person to finish a sentence. 
  • Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information.
  • Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level; it’s cheaper.